On Weddings and Marriage

Today is my wedding anniversary and a holiday and yet I still woke up at 5:40 this morning.  Go figure.  Now that it’s 7:10 and a little closer to the time I normally wake up, I am enjoying the day and the quiet in the house.  Dogs and husband still asleep, and I’ve already been out for a stroll around the yard to check on my garden.

I must admit that our wedding was pretty awesome–really, it was.  We had all our favorite friends and family there, tons of tasty food, and a ten-piece soul band.  I mean, it really was a good time.  Had I been a blogger at the time, I would have given these five tips for people planning a fun wedding (as opposed to a Baptist mints and punch wedding):

Top 5 Fun Wedding Tips

1. Plan your wedding around the reception. While the ceremony is the most important part (you do have to get married after all), you will spend most of your time at the reception (probably 90%).  It’s just simple math and logic–focus on where you will spend most of your time.

2.  Unless you’re a professional, don’t DIY your most important elements. Most important to us were food and music.  Therefore, we found a killer caterer, the aforementioned band, and three amazing ceremony musicians–organist, timpanist, and trumpeter.  We DIY-ed the invitites and some of the table decorations.

Result of planning a fun wedding? Lots of dancing and smiling.

3.  Have good food. Even if you aren’t a foodie, you should still have the best food you can find/afford.  People judge you on your food, and no one wants to be poorly judged for a party thrown in his or her honor.  Also, the reception should be a gift to your guests.  Be nice and give them good food.  Also give them good wine.  Our caterer substituted the traditional merlot and chardonnay (blech) for cabernet sauvignon and sauvignon blanc (yes!) at no extra charge.

4.  Share time with just your husband/wife between the ceremony and reception. Our venue had a little room that was private, and the caterer brought us our drinks of choice and plates of food.  Although we were both too excited to eat much, this is one of my most favorite memories.  We were able to sit and say sweet things to each other, actually visit with one another for the first time that day.

5.  Buck tradition but keep tradition. At the end of the day, if you’re getting married, you’re participating in a pretty traditional thing.  Don’t be ashamed and have some traditional elements–maybe a conservative dress, old-timey flowers, or classical music at the ceremony.  Don’t be too traditional though–embrace what makes you two the couple you are and forget about tradition.  Have stylish bridesmaids’ dresses, a sushi bar, or pink champagne.

Although remembering our wedding is so much fun, I have been married for two years now and should reflect on those years.  I’ve learned a lot in those years and am still happy I married him.  I’m pretty sure he’s still happy he married me, so that’s good too.  Because this is a blog about learning, I’ll recount a few of the lessons I’ve learned in the past two years.

Lessons Learned

1.  Be nice and thoughtful.

2.  Surprise one another ocassionally.

3.  Don’t nag unless necessary, but when necessary, nag.

4.  Try to not compete with one another–for better jobs, money, talent, etc.–instead, appreciate the other for what he or she brings to the relationship.

5.  Be honest.

And a final list.

What I Love Most about Edmond

1.  He is creative.

2.  He is always willing to help me whenever I ask him to.

3.  He loves his mother.

4.  He respects me more than anyone else does.

5.  He encourages me.

It's Probably Offensive That I Was Offended

I went to buy some drinking stuff Saturday–a bottle of champagne and some sweet tea vodka.  If you haven’t tried it, you should stop reading and go get some ASAP.  It really is more important than my being offended.  Do please come back and read with drink in hand though.

So I went to the closest liquor store where there is this especially chipper cashier.  Especially chipper.  Exceptionally chipper.  She’s really just too chipper.  Anyway, I’ve encountered her before, and I must admit, she drove me a little crazy, but on Saturday she flat out offended me.  After asking me about five times how my day was (it only takes 2.5 minutes to pay for two bottles of booze, right?), she proceeded to wish me a happy mother’s day.

I realize that she was probably just saying this because she is incapable of not talking for even five seconds, but really?  Why happy mother’s day?  Do I look like a mother?  And, if so, what exactly does a mother look like?  I have a lot of mom friends, and they are mostly distinguishable from one another.

I’m sure some would say something like, “Geez [or worse], Kristen, there’s nothing wrong with being a mom.”  To that, I would reply, “Of course there isn’t.”  I very much love my own mother and my mom (and mom’s) friends, so I don’t mean to discredit moms, but isn’t there something wrong with just wishing a random woman (sans children in tow) a happy mother’s day?  I think there is.

This is sort of up there with congratulating people on getting pregnant, or better yet, birthing the baby, or on getting married.  Celebrate?  Absolutely.  Congratulate though?  Seems a strange sentiment to me.  A discussion probably best suited for another day.

I came home to see lots of people wishing me, and everyone else, a happy mother’s day on Facebook, claiming that all people have mothers.  This is true, but is that really reason to wish them a happy mother’s day?  We all know secretaries and nurses, but to my knowledge, we only wish happy days to secretaries and nurses on those days.  Likewise, I think grandparent’s day is reserved for grandparents.

You may think I’m being cynical, even bitchy, but I think I was justifiably offended.  After all, she didn’t wish the man ahead of me a happy anything.

Lessons learned:

• People should be okay wih (and even embrace) silence if all they can do is ramble.
• I will need a Xanax if I am to ever go back in that store with that chipper cashier.
• I should learn to let things roll off my back more.
• I enjoy not letting things roll of my back, so I get to have a soapbox later.

Earlier Lessons

Although this blog focuses on what I am currently learning, I have, of course, been learning for a while, and this weekend I was reminded of some especially valuable lessons.

1.  Funny friends are the best friends. I got to see one of the funniest this weekend, and she, true to form, kept me laughing the entire time I was with her.

2.    Allowing things out of your control, such as a wedding day filled with tornadoes and rain, to roll off your back means you have arrived and are officially an adult. (I’m not there quite yet, but my friend who got married this weekend is a pro.)

3.   The words “since” and “because” should not be treated as synonyms. “Since” goes with time (Since 1980, I have had brown hair), and “because” goes with reason (Because I have brown hair, grays show up a lot).  Why, oh why, must people misuse “since”?  (I realize this one is a bit unrelated to the others, but I’ve been editing since–properly used–I got back to Starkville.)

4.   When staying at someone’s house, you should always make the bed before you leave. Moms who teach this lesson are good moms.

5.     Being hungry at 2:00AM after having a few drinks at a super-fun wedding, no matter how staunch you are in your convictions, will probably result in very poor eating decisions. For example, you may, despite your best intentions, ask your friend to go through the Arby’s drive-through, resulting in quite a bump in your “no non-local meat” agreement with yourself.  (Good friends console you and tell you that you aren’t a bad person afterall.)

Five Facts about Almonds

Since succombing to my cashew allergy, I have tried to eat more almonds. They’re healthier anyway, right?  Well, I’ve learned quite a bit about them:

1. About 23 almonds equals one ounce.

2. There is even a tin you can buy that holds exactly one ounce.

3.  Almonds come from California.

4.  Almonds are first on the Mayo Clinic’s list of super foods.  (To be fair, they are first because of alphabetical reasons, but, hey, it sounds good to say they’re first, right?)

5.  One serving (one ounce/23 almonds) has half of the recommended daily intake of Vitamin E. 

This tin seems a bit silly to me.

Cashews Make Me Happy Today and Miserable Tomorrow

I have finally succumbed to being allergic to cashews.

I love them. 
My body rejects cashew nuts. 
I love them. 
When I wake up the day after eating cashews, my mouth hurts. 
I love them. 
Cashews make my lips swell. 
I love them. 
Eating cashews causes an itchy roof of the mouth. 
I love them. 
Cashews cause tiny, itchy bumps along the edge of my lips. 
I love them.
I love them.

Some lessons aren’t as fun to learn as others, and after two major reactions to cashews in the past year, I am finally retiring them from my snack list.  The itchy lips are not worth the tasty treat.